Challenging the Stigma of Quitting

I recently tried a new workout class where I thought about walking out of it just a few minutes after it began. The instructor said the word “burpees”, and I started to think about my exit strategy. I kept telling myself that I could leave if I wanted to, whenever I wanted to, and that nobody could stop me. 

Let me give some background first, so you can understand why this wasn’t a dramatic thought for me. I only started to enjoy exercising about five years ago when I tried Pilates (before it was trendy!), and it genuinely changed my life. I finally discovered a way to move my body and take care of my physical and mental wellbeing without hating the process. I would never get a runner’s high or a huge sense of accomplishment and pride after pushing myself through an intense workout; I would just feel nauseous and drained afterwards. Every body is different and I’m happy for the ones who love HIIT workouts and sweating in heated studios, but I prefer my slow movement and the guarantee that I won’t be on the verge of throwing up or fainting from exertion. 

Back to the class, though. I engaged with my personal limits and checked in with my body and boundaries throughout the workout. The music was blasting so loud I could barely hear the instructor yelling at us to feel the burn, so I tuned out of the aggressively encouraging environment and tuned in to my needs. I felt a muscle that’s been bothering me screaming for relief, so I modified some movements because I was worried about pushing myself too hard and risking an injury. I noticed that other people were taking breaks and struggling, and I felt some solidarity with them. I didn’t judge. I felt like there was a silent sense of community amongst those of us who either could not keep up, or who simply chose to go slower while still putting in effort. I didn’t feel like I was quitting, giving up, or failing at the class. I felt glad to have the knowledge that this type of workout is not enjoyable for me, and I can find something else that feels more aligned with my preferences.

Part of what got me through was brainstorming about how I can write about the stigma that comes with failure/quitting/giving up/walking away and the reminder of how passionate I am about pushing past these ideas. There are so many difficult things that we must face throughout our lives: conflict in relationships, toxic work environments, systemic oppression, family drama, chronic pain, financial stress, existential dread and depression, and more. We can’t always leave a job or break a lease or end difficult relationships. We can’t always think our way out of distressing thoughts or be the one responsible for the change we want to see in the world. Distress tolerance and the ability to accept discomfort is a necessary skill, but I don’t believe we must unnecessarily expose ourselves to scenarios that require these skills all the time. Hustle culture and the overall pace of New York City emphasizes grinding hard and sacrificing, which can feel great in some situations, but I think we also need an “opt-out culture” where we are encouraged to say no and decide when we’ve hit our limit. This could look like taking a day of PTO even if you’re not traveling, or declining an opportunity if you know your schedule won’t allow for it. There is not always a reward for being the last one standing or the one who can do it all. Sometimes this even results in being taken advantage of if others know you will never say no. Working yourself to the point of barely surviving typically results in burnout, not a trophy. 

Older generations might argue that this mindset makes the youth “soft” or “entitled”, but they also never lived through 2026 having to create or redefine their life as an emerging adult in the landscape of our current world. We will always have to experience hardship in our lifetime, but we don’t have to make everything hard on ourselves on purpose. Allowing myself to rest and relax without guilt has been a core practice of my self-care. It keeps me sane and helps me reset from the stress of my job. I spent a lot of time exploring how to reframe my relationship with productivity, eventually giving myself permission to do less and simply exist at times. I could even argue that resting and doing nothing can be productive and benefit our performance in other areas of life, but that feels like a conversation for a 200 level course and this post is simply the 100 level introduction to this topic.

In closing: I believe there should be pleasure and joy in the things we choose to participate in to help balance the inevitable difficulties of our existence. Existentialism remind us of the ongoing suffering that is part of the human condition, but it is not the only experience we face. Our time in this world is limited and most of us don’t have the privilege of spending it exactly the way we want, so that makes our free time and freedom to make choices about how we spend it all the more valuable. I always feel and remind myself that being alive is a privilege. I think about living my life to the fullest as my most authentic self on behalf of my loved ones who have died and cannot experience this world or life as I currently am. I think about the simplicity and beauty I can find in the world through nature, witnessing random acts of kindness, showing love to others, and receiving love. I think about how I missed out on these experiences at times when I was at the peak of my burnout and stress juggling school, an internship, and a full-time job in my early 20s. I am proud to say that my hard work paid off, and I will continue to work hard through allowing myself to also do less and take breaks. My success in my career and my pride for the life I have worked hard to build does not exist without the opposing notion of rest, which has allowed me to strike a true balance.